


To Heal the Sin-Sick Soul

by BroadwayBaggins



Category: Mercy Street (TV)
Genre: Civil War, F/M, First Kiss, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 07:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9427499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayBaggins/pseuds/BroadwayBaggins
Summary: Emma confronts Henry after the Second Battle of Bull Run.





	

“You’re angry with me.”

It was the first word either of them had spoken on the long trip back to Mansion House. With the wounded in tow–those who could be moved, that is, those who had a chance of being spared–they’d had to stop often, and Emma would have been exhausted had she been capable of thinking of anything but the carnage they had just escaped from. She had never seen anything like it in all her short time on this earth, and she knew if she paused to close her eyes for even a moment she would see it again. she would be back there on that godforsaken battlefield breathing in the smell of smoke and gunpowder and terror and blood, so much blood, with the air exploding all around her and Chaplain Hopkins out in the thick of it–

Her back stiffened at the sound of his voice, scratchy and worn out, and she did not turn around. “We must see to the boys,” she said crisply as her grip stiffened on the medical bag she held in her hand.

“Please, Miss Green.”  


She turned to face him then, sighing. She fixed her eyes on a spot on the wall so as to avoid looking into his face. “Of course I’m angry. You deliberately put yourself into danger. You could have been killed!”

“But I wasn’t. I’m fine.”  


“Fine!” she barked out a laugh, finally looking into his eyes, taking in the sight of his soot-stained face, his pained expression, the bloodied cloth he held tight against his bicep. “You got yourself shot, you did. _Fine_. You are the farthest thing from fine and you know it.”  


“It’s only a graze.”  


“And you know as well as I how easily something like that can be infected. Now I have to see to you before I tend to the other boys, make sure you don’t end up losing an arm…”  


“You can see to them first. I’ll be all right.”  


“Sit down,” she ordered, and he sat. Her palms were sweating, and her hands shook as she rummaged through her supplies trying to locate a needle and thread. “I’ll need to sterilize it before I put in the sutures. And you’ll need to take your shift off.”  


He fell silent and obeyed, although she thought she saw the tips of his ears turn pink as he did so. She busied herself with soaking a clean cloth in alcohol, pressing it to the graze on his arm when he was ready. He sucked in a breath, but did not cry out.

“They could have killed you,” Emma said as she dabbed at the wound. “What on earth were you thinking?”  


“Those men needed me. They’re alive because I took that risk.”  


“And they might still be alive if you hadn’t.”  


“You don’t know that.”  


“Neither do you!” Emma cried out, taking the cloth away, her eyes flashing with anger. “Those men need you. Where would they be without their chaplain? You’re a comfort to them…you’re…needed here…”  


“Miss Green…”  


“How could you have been so reckless? Don’t you know how frightened I was?”  


Now he truly looked as miserable as she felt, and Emma felt a wicked pang of satisfaction. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

His voice was so small and tentative that Emma immediately felt bad for having been so cruel to him. She had allowed her temper to lash out when she should have been focused on the boys, or at least on telling him how glad she was that he was alive. She bit her lip, focusing on the task at hand as she finished sterilizing the graze on his arm. It was shallow, like he said, but it still needed to be properly cleaned and stitched so that it would heal.

“Weren’t you scared?” she asked finally.  


He looked up at her, his eyes wide and earnest. “I was terrified,” he told her honestly. “But I couldn’t just think about myself. I had to get those men out of there, and I knew that if I stopped to think about my own fear…then those few precious seconds could cost those men their lives. Honestly, I don’t remember much after I decided that. I was mostly acting on instinct.”

Emma paused to discreetly blink away a tear.

“But even though I was afraid, it was the strangest feeling–I somehow knew that I was going to be all right. I felt that I…I had to be.”  


“Because God was protecting you?” Emma whispered, her work all but forgotten. The cloth she had already abandoned on the table beside them, and the needle sat before her, waiting to be threaded, Suddenly it seemed as if she was sitting far too close to the chaplain, so close that she could see every fleck of color in his eyes, every freckle on his bare shoulders.  


“No. I mean–yes, of course–but…if I may…I think it was because part of me knew I had to be safe for your sake.”  


“Chaplain Hopkins…”  


“Forgive me. Forgive me, Miss Green–dear Emma–but I must be allowed to speak. I know it’s too much–I know i don’t deserve you, but hear me out, that would be enough. I do not mean to speak out of turn, but I have stared down death today, as have you. Life is far too short, haven’t we both seen that? I have taken one risk today, and, if you would permit me to take another…”  


“Please don’t,” Emma whispered, willing thoughts of Frank to return to her head, but none came.  


“You have grown very dear to me during your time at Mansion House…more than that. You have been a light in the darkness, Emma, more so than you know, and I believe I…I believe I may have fallen in love with you…”  


This was wrong, all wrong, and yet Emma had no desire to stop it. Slowly, he reached out his other arm towards her,  his rough hand gently cupping her cheek. He stroked the skin there with his thumb, his eyes searching hers. She reached up both hands and encircled his wrist, feeling the flutter of his pulse, intending at first to gently push him away, but she did not. 

“Henry…”  


“I know–I know it isn’t right. Not the right time, certainly not the right place…I know that we are vastly different people from two very different worlds. But I have seen the woman you’ve become since you started here. I have seen what’s in your heart and I know that you deserve so much more than I can ever offer you, but Emma, I cannot help how I feel.”  


“None of us can,” Emma whispered.   


In the end, she wasn’t sure which one of them moved first–it may have been him, but she had a sinking suspicion it was she that had leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. She tasted the faint tang of smoke from the battlefield as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer as her arms wound around his neck, and in that moment, Emma forgot to think about Frank at all.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long wait, but it's here--the premiere of season 2!! I wanted to write something in honor of the day and I've been sitting on this prompt for a while. This includes speculation for the aftermath of certain scenes in the trailer, which will take place in episode 4 of season 2. 
> 
> Title comes from the spiritual "There is a Balm in Gilead", which is also the title for episode 1 of season 2.


End file.
